Spring has come, and the melancholy and various research and lectures...

1) The usual anxiety and anxiety of research funding comes every spring.

Every April, I wonder whether I've won or lost my scientific research grant (it's not a lucky draw or a lottery, but I still write and apply frantically...), and it feels like my life expectancy is being shortened. For now (some have not yet been awarded), the Fundamental Science B and New Innovative Academic Research Grants have been added, but my relief is only temporary. Associate Professor Ikeno's XXXXX, which I thought absolutely could not be missed, was not there. I was surprised too. I couldn't help but smile wryly along with Professor Ikeno (while in my mind I was screaming, "He's slacking off!"). The basic principle is to collect as much as possible carefully and use as much as possible carefully and carefully.

2) When spring comes, lecture blues set in.

If you ask me whether I like or dislike lecturing, I still don't like it, since I don't have a teaching license and I'm not confident. Especially with the COVID-19 pandemic, I'm doing a hybrid of online and in-person lectures. Talking to half the students in the classroom and the other half on the other side of Zoom is not like "delivering manzai to the audience in person and also via TV broadcast" at Yoshimoto's Namba Kagetsu Theater, so it's not going to go smoothly. I'm talking, displaying image data, moving the video in the middle, even asking, "Can you hear me?" Wouldn't it be more entertaining and entertaining to just go all out online? I could still give lectures.

Being a single producer and performer is tough. It's even more depressing than usual. Pre-recorded and available on demand is much easier, but even watching my own recordings is painful.

Recently, a paper was published that suggests that looking at your face in the mirror releases dopamine, but it definitely makes me depressed.

3) Lectures make me tired and I feel depressed because I can't think clearly.

Sometimes, while lecturing, an idea will come to me, like, "That's it!" I know I might get scolded for not being serious about lecturing, but when I lecture while thinking about various things, I sometimes end up thinking about something else (that's my excuse). I can't even take notes on the ideas that come to me during the lecture. I forget them once it's over. I get scolded if I cut short the lecture and finish early. If I shout during the lecture, the students will end up not understanding what I'm talking about.

In the past, there was a professor who would mutter to himself while writing on the board during lectures. If this happened today, he would surely be criticized from all sides for not being an active learning method. He would mutter, "I'm teaching by saying this, but there's also this. But, I remember we talked about this recently..." and the content would often warp into a completely different world. I would rack my brain to keep up, but I'd have no idea what he was talking about. Surprisingly, those stories seemed fresh to me as a student, and I still remember them. Suddenly, I'd connect them to something else he'd said, and I'd realize, "Oh, that story was true..." or "Professor XX's hypothesis was partly correct..." and I'd ruminate on something that had unwittingly become my own hypothesis.

If it's a completed lecture, I'd rather listen to a better one available online. I think the lectures at national exam prep schools are far more interesting. Lectures without the leisure, digressions, or even the opportunity for a joke or a one-on-one comment are depressing. Lectures are a once-in-a-lifetime experience, so even if the teacher suddenly disappears, you're not allowed to just talk about something else, which is depressing. What's more, now that they've been moved to the web, they're even being recorded. Lectures are no longer a place for teachers or students to think, which is depressing. The neocortex in our heads isn't activated, and active learning, where only words fly around, not thoughts, is depressing. The only thing hybrids are good for is cars (lectures are no good).